________Exploration-a word contained so many histories of people who ventured to go other palaces is very important for countries. It can help countries to find more and more about other areas. Exploration is a good way to develop people's countries. It even can influence countries' futures. There are a lot of people going to explore in the world. Some of them went back with their success so that they became heroes in their countries. So, Exploration is important for countries because it can extend countries' scope, develop countries' economy and advance technologies' progress.
_______Exploration is important for countries because it can extend countries' scope. Areas are important for a country. For example, John Cabot went to find Asia by the king's order. He and his crew sailed to find it, but they arrived in a new island. Cabot named it "Newfoundland". Then, they went back to his country and became a hero in people's hearts because he found a new land. They can use that new land to build up a new place to exchange trades, or use it to develop their country in other ways. It can extend the country's scope so that their country would have a wonderful future. Thus, the exploration that can extend countries' scope is really important.
______The second is the exploration can develop countries' economy. Economy is really important for a country because it determinate if a country can be prosperous. For instance, before a long time, an explorer named Jacques Cartier went to Canada and found some native people there. They communicated with them and used their knives to exchange of the native people's fur. Cartier and his crew took a lot of fur to go back and he also brought riches in his country. Because of this fur trade, then there started to have many countries and people to trade fur in the world so that their country's economy became prosperous. All in all, the economy's growth is very important for the country.
______The last is the exploration is important because it can advance technologies' progress. Hundreds of years ago, humans wanted to go to the moon to quest. Now, people have done their wish and created many technologies. For example, Anglesey-a Chinese went to the moon to quest for China. That was an exploration of space and it can discovered more about the moon so that scientists can work on it. It can help people find new technologies and do more inventions for countries. It can advance countries' technologies' progress. Hence, Exploration is very important for countries because it can advance technologies' progress.
______Therefore, exploration plays an important part in the world because it can extend countries' scope, develop countries' trades and advance technologies' progress. Exploration can do these for countries to develop fast. The countries can get more benefits from every exploration so that they can be advanced by exploration. It is a good way to open up new pathways to communicate and grow for countries in the world. To conclude, exploration is a significant way that can be used for benefiting for humans in the world.
You understand the basic structure of the essay. To get a higher mark, you should use more of your own words. Try not to use the dictionary so much because it can make your essay sound like a dictionary and not you.
回复删除Try to make it interesting to read. You have a good idea about exploration. congratulations.
Usage Mistakes
-- "grow for countries" -- What does that mean?
-- How can learning about the moon advance the technological progress of a country? Explain more in your body paragraph to make the connection between your example and the topic.
--Think of other ways for "good"
-- native people should be First Nations people instead
-- Use some of the vocabulary you have learned from Wordly Wise
26/40 A very good job. This is one of your most well-structured essays!