2009年4月19日星期日

Final Essay

____Now, there are so many people want to explore in the world. This is because they just think about the benefits that they can get, they don't think about the trouble they will meet. Exploration can make countries develop more faster and be strong. That's true. On the other side, it is also bad cause anything all have two sides. So, exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding by the impediment in communication, different customs and the explorers' wild ambitions.
____Exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding because people have impediment in communication. The explorers and the native people lived in different places, so they had different languages. They would have impediments in communication because they don't know what they said. This may could make people feel upset and wouldn't want to talk with each other any more. Sometimes, the words in The explorer's country was good, but it was the opposite meaning in the native people's place. They would get misunderstanding in languages and make conflict between them, even arguing with each other. Thus, exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding by the impediment in communication.
____Exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding because they have different customs.Sometimes they have different ideas so that cause conflicts.
Customs can not be changed at once because they are accumulated by many years . They have different customs to do something.When they do something in their own customs ,other people may think the things they did are wrong and impolite so that the conflicts misunderstanding would happen.They may would argue each other.Hence,different customs will create conflict and misunderstanding.
____Exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding because of the explorers' wild ambitions.When the explorers arrived in a land, they all wanted to take good things there to their country.They all had wild ambitions to country the lands.The native people wanted to protect their home so that they would fight with people who wanted to occupy their home.That was a reason caused the conflicts and misunderstanding.As a result, the explorers had wild ambitions would lead them to make conflicts with the native people.
____In a word, exploration can create conflict and misunderstanding because the impediments in languages , different customs and the explorers' wild ambitions.It’s very important to explore because it can find new lands and matters. Exploration is good for people to develop their countries fast and became advanced, but it can also create conflict and misunderstanding. So, people need to explore carefully and have a friendly relationship between two countries.

3 条评论:

  1. Focus 4/4
    You are on topic from the beginning of the essay until the end.

    Organization 3.5/4
    I see your thesis statement. I see your paragraphs. All the paragraphs talk about the thesis statement. There is a paragraph that is cut into two. Make sure to check your essay after you blog it.

    Content 3/4
    You talk about the examples. Try to explain more. What are the wild ambitions? Be specific in your body paragraph.

    Usage 3/4
    You have many little mistakes. Please read your essay out loud. Have a friend check it for you.

    style 3/4
    You mostly keep a formal style of writing. Be careful not to sound like you are talking. I like the way you use transitional words and phrases. Try to use higher level vocabulary. Don't use things or good. You can use positive instead of good.

    16.5/20 x2 - 33/40

    Overall, your essay shows you understand the topic.

    Good!

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